THE PEOPLE'S COURT (continued)

PRESIDING JUDGE: The Honorable Judge Marilyn Milian

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Judge Milian is of Cuban descent. She speaks fluent Spanish and will often utter old wives’ tales or the favorite sayings of her mother or grandmother. Men in her courtroom are occasionally accused of playing the game of "¿Quienes más macho?" (in English: "Who is most macho?") a.k.a. having a pissing contest. When she becomes angry at a litigant, she will often rule against them and then leave her bench very abruptly in a near-sprint back to her chambers.

You may have also seen Milian portraying fictional judge characters on the comedy program The George Lopez Show and on the soap opera, As The World Turns. In her off-hours, she proclaims herself to be the quintessential soccer mom to her three daughters. And much like Judge Judy Sheindlin, she is also married to another judge in real life.

Besides Judge Milian and the ever-present, ever-obnoxious Harvey Levin, the THE PEOPLE’S COURT also features bailiff Douglas MacIntosh, a likeable though underutilized personality. The most Judge Milian has asked of Douglas is his opinion regarding cars, his opinion regarding skiing and to occasionally "escort this loudmouth out of my courtroom." Fortunately, the show has not degraded into the sort where Douglas must man-handle uncooperative litigants left and right on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong! He certainly looks capable enough, with those big bicep muscles... But, really, who needs (or wants) another Jerry Springer or Steve Wilkos Show?

Rumor has it that Douglas used to play football for the New England Patriots team. As far as we can tell, this is nothing more than a well-spread rumor.

Wikipedia also lists "Davy Jones" as another bailiff appearing on the THE PEOPLE’S COURT show early in Judge Milian’s tenure; it’s assumed that this is not the same Davy Jones of Monkees fame, as he is probably much too petite to be considered for a bailiff position. (*Editor's Note: far stranger things have happened! For instance, at 4'8" Gary Coleman was hired as a security guard. Dr. Ruth (4'7") was a sniper during the Israeli War. And, of course W got elected to a 2nd term despite being a mental pygmy.)

Hallway interviews are now conducted by former ABC sports reporter, Curt Chaplin. He reminds us that you never miss someone --like Doug Llewelyn-- until he's gone. These curt interviews many times seem contrived, melodramatic or just plain brainless. I applaud the litigants who pass by ol' Curt without even slowing or acknowledging his presence. They are correct: It really isn't worth the time. It adds nothing to our lives or to the show. (Pssst! The case is over. Go home, Curt. Please?)

"I’d like to see you two sisters give each other a hug and make up. Are you willing to do that?" says Chapin to two women who just angrily professed that they cannot --will not -- EVER --forgive one another.

At other times Curt is just plain disrespectful: "I guess that’s just the way she rolls," he said of a woman in a wheelchair. *sigh* (And THIS is just how my eyes roll everytime you hold the mic.)

As you watch Curt interrupt and belittle people in the hallway, take notice of the pictures on wall behind him. You should be able to spot the late, great Rusty the bailiff as well as a mirthful Ed Koch!

THE PEOPLE’S COURT official website currently allows visitors to upload their own videos to explain their side of an argument or to bellyache about some innocuous pet peeve. For the month following, the issue is up for vote, and the public gets to decide the outcome. They’re calling this feature PEOPLE’S COURT RAW! While it's not a bad concept, its execution is lacking in all forms of taste and basic human dignity. Once again, it seems that the show's producers have sunk to a new, almost TMZ-like low. [ Yo! Saliciousness may sell to the masses, but it also causes your most vocal supporters to become your most vocal non-supporters. ]

Many of the PEOPLE’S COURT RAW! videos are downright distasteful. For instance, on the day of this writing they featured a video about a woman who still breast feeds her 8-year-old daughter. No doubt countless viewers watched, hoping to catch sight of a boob. But, alas, Harvey Levin did not appear in the video.

Also, as of this writing, the current offical home page of PEOPLE’S COURT features two attractive young women, who appear to be office co-workers -- one saying. "Stop BELCHING it’s gross!" and the other: "I’ll BELCH where I want!"

Wow. It doesn't get any more Classy than that.

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